Bulldog News

Getting the most out of parent teacher conferences

Friday, February 22, 2008

by Richard Meyer, Dean of Academics and Tutorials

Everyone looks at the calendar and circles the dates of parent-teacher conferences.

For Hillside School, this year our first parent-teacher conferences are November 15 for boarding families and November 16 for day families. These conferences tend to create some anxiety for both parties. It needn’t be that way.

As a start, we hope that you will get to know your child’s teachers early in the year so that you are not meeting them for the first time in November. By building a relationship with your son’s teachers, you set the stage to make his year more productive.

It is important to understand that when your son comes to Hillside, we are entering a partnership with you. You are the most influential person in your child’s life and we cannot educate him without your support.

Conferences should be a give and take of information about your child. There should be a healthy exchange of ideas all aimed at helping him to become the best student and person that he can be.

The most important aspect of any parent-teacher conference is that both sides listen to each other. As teachers we recognize that you, the parent, know your child far better than anyone else.

But teachers also spend a significant amount of time with children and share expertise about their development. Only by listening effectively will both sides be able to define and deal with the issues your son is facing.

Sometimes when parents come to a conference, they are upset over their child’s progress, or lack thereof, or they dislike the way a particular situation was handled. When you are upset about something, please keep a couple of things in mind.

First, teachers do have feelings. Being judgmental or verbally aggressive towards them does not help the situation.

Second, be aware that you may have received information about a situation from your child’s perspective. As such, please don’t jump to conclusions. Ask for the teacher’s perspective on the matter.

Finally, even if you and the teacher disagree about something, work with him or her to find common ground and develop a plan that you can implement to improve the situation.

Listed below are some general tips on how you can build relationships with teachers and get the most out of your parent teacher conferences:

• Even if it is just a quick hello and an introduction, try to get to know your son’s teachers early in the year. If you live far away, a quick e-mail to say hi will work fine.

• If you have concerns about something, don’t wait until November to ask about it. Often, questions can be resolved with a short conversation or e-mail. If a larger meeting is necessary, that can be arranged.

• Keep abreast of what your son is doing in school. Not just academically, but also in athletics and socially. If your child is one of those kids who does not share a lot of information with you (and that’s most kids), check with his teachers to find out what is happening in his school life.

• Reflect on your child before the conference and try to prepare specific questions to ask his teachers.

• Don’t bring your child or other children to the conference unless your are asked to do so.

• It is okay to feel defensive on behalf of your child. However, please strive to act as an advocate, not an excuse maker.

• Work with your child’s teacher(s) to define and implement a plan that will help him achieve success.

• Ask for specific suggestions from your child’s teacher(s) on how he can improve his academic performance in the class.